Stupid Smile
by N. Black - blackie
Summary: It's bad enough that I'm back home for Christmas without any of this happening.
1. Chapter 1

**That smile in a bad day**

It was already bad enough for me to stay at home in Christmas vacations, without happening things like this.

Like, my Christmas gift was a beautiful CD player. Yes, like those shinny and charming ones. It sounds perfects, except for the fact that nothing in my life is actually perfect. It came without something very useless: headphones. Basic.

"Ok, Lily", I thought "The only thing you've got to do is to pick up some money and buy it! Simple!"

Whatever that was, could be anything, but simple. My mom stared frightened at me when I panicked and ran through the house looking for coins or something like that. The moment I had enough, I just ran away to the store.

Of course I wasn't exactly thinking the time I left, and about five minutes later, I realize that I forgot to get a coat. Just a tiny detail: it's winter, and the temperature is **really **cold. And, with that cold, people kept staring at me, like I was some kind of alien who enjoys eating watermelons.

What?

Ok, it can get worse. Yep, ladies and gentleman, it actually got worse. And now I think to myself: with a thousand places in Europe to live in, why that stupid selfish self – centered dumb guy choose MY neighborhood to live in?

I'm really way too unlucky.

When I was going home, happy and bubbly, shaking my new headphones in a bag, I saw the last thing I wanted to see. In one of the yards beside me, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, Peter Pettigrew and James Potter were laughing, all dressed up for the cold day. Any of them could've looked at me. Sirius, Remus, even Peter. But not him.

"Smile back", I heard my mind say, when he started to smile that weird way of his.

Almost automatically, I said a quiet 'hello'. Of course they noticed my shaking figure, and Remus asked:

"Hum… Lily. Don't you think is quite cold for you to walk around like this?"

"Oh.", I answered, stupidly. Obviously it was cold! What he expected me to say? "Oh no, Remus, I'm fine here with my shirt that leaves my arms completely exposed to the cold!"

"Wanna come in?" Potter asked, with a pervert smile. I controlled myself to not run away that moment, screaming about a maniac who wanted to attack me.

"No, thanks, Potter"

Did I mention that I have some kind of mental problem? Why didn't I just go home? Nope, I'm very smart. I had to stay a minute more, I had to see a woman coming out of the house and ask me to come in, and I had to agree, because I'm stupid and well raised. So I entered the enemies' territory, or, if you prefer, Potter's house.

I said house? I meant mansion.

And all just because I wanted my headphones.


	2. Chapter 2

**The mansion - house**

And all just because I wanted my headphones.

When I entered the house, my first thought was: "Oh my"

No joking. Outside was already big, and the house inside was… wonderful. Imagine that house you'd like to live in. So, that was it.

But Potter will never know about this.

First the woman led me to the hall, which had two doors and the stairs, which lead to the second floor. She took me into the right door. The kitchen. She sat me in a wood chair and said:

"For Merlin! Almost snowing out there and you dressed this way!"

"Hun, I forgot my coat today."

"James! Go and make a cup of tea for her, hurry!"

"Ok, Mommy"

So she's his mother! Omg. I stopped to take a better look at her. She was really beautiful, with a long dark brown hair and brown eyes, and a kind smile. Besides, she carried a kind of respect around her, which just stopped me from thinking anything bad about her. Potter did everything she said. When I was already heated, Mrs. Potter took me to the living room. The place was almost like a muggle living room, except for the fact that there was no television, a thing I was already used to see in my house. Over the fireplace there were some photos, that I couldn't see because of the distance.

"Red – headed!", Sirius said, throwing himself on the couch in front of me, while Peter and Remus (by the way, my BFF) sat like normal people beside him.

"Oh… Hi"

"I didn't know you lived 'round here!"

"That's ok, neither did I"

Remus gave me a merciful smile. Yes, he's the only one who understands me.

"Are you fine now, dear?"

"Oh yes, Mrs. Potter"

"You were freezing out there! Oh, darling, you can call me Martha. Or Aunt Martha. All of Jimmy's friends call me that way."

Potter turned red and moaned.

"Mommy…"

I controlled my will to laugh. JIMMY? Oh my. My friends gotta know about this. After some minutes (or hours? Damn, this room doesn't have a clock!) I said I really had to go home. Before I go, Martha said:

"Jimmy said you like to read… So, if you want, we've got a library with lots of books, and you might like them. As James doesn't like to read much, those oldies would like if someone could read them"

I smiled. Not because of the "Jimmy said…", but because of the books. Promising I would come back, I went back home.

Ps. Of the day: Jimmy!


	3. Chapter 3

**The Library**

Ok, I see yellow flowers in my way, and is still winter.

Before you keep thinking I fell in love with his smile, no, I didn't. A whole library! Just for me! Full of interesting wizard titles, just waiting for me to read them!

Yes, I can. When I got home, I went straight to my room, to put the headphones on the player, which I decided to call _Jimmy, _so I could always remember this _dirty little secret_ of his.

So as I promised the other day (hey! I was anxious to see that library!) I went to the mansion – house and knocked the door. A house elf answered. Personally, I never agreed with the horrible conditions that these creatures had, but this one seamed do be different. She was wearing a pink uniform, and was clean and cheerful. Naturally she wasn't beautiful, but somehow those outfits made her look cute. I smiled at her.

"Hi, Miss! You must be the girl Little Master said that was coming!"

"Oh yes."

"So come in, little girl"

'Little girl', good Lily.

"Hun, is Mrs. Potter… I mean, Martha. She's home?"

"Oh no, darling, she's too busy in the ministry. But the boys are home, you want to see them?"

"No! I mean, no, thanks. They must be busy."

While she led me trough the stairs, I heard a weird sound, similar do an explosion, coming from a door by the end of the corridor.

"Oh, don't bother with these sounds, dear. They're very common in my little master's room, especially when the other boys are here"

I was entering the library's door when a voice came from the same door. Turned my face and saw Potter smiling at me. He had his clothes full of some strange green thing. I preferred not to say anything.

"Lily?"

"Hi, Potter"

"You're going to call me by my last name even in my house! Oh, come on, _Evans!"_

I don't know why, but the sound of my last name coming from his mouth sounded strange to my ears. Ignoring this, I mumbled anything to get him out of there, and entered.

It was THE library! I started running like crazy among the room, looking at all those books.

Well, I'm in heaven.


	4. Chapter 4

**Night Kiss**

Waking up is not a good thing. Well, at least when you have Petunia as sister. She just pisses me off. Ok, I'm a conformist. I just ignore it. The lucky thing is that I lent a book from the library. Lady of Dementors. Sad, but beautiful.

Of course the story could never happen, if you consider that the "lady" had almost my age and fell in love with a dementor. The thing is: Dementors can't love. But the one of the story loved. And, as it seems, very much. But they couldn't stay together.

And, I don't know the end of it. Let me read, then.

Well, I'm crying. The book is really sad. I decided to go back to the Potter's, to run. Run from what? Petunia. Well, I thought. Between Petunia and Potter, I prefer Potter. At least he doesn't bother me near his mom.

Yes, I can, I can.

I got my coat (this time I remind myself to get one) and went to the mansion - house. When I got there, he and Black were like two idiots, playing in the snow, laughing stupidly.

I hate him. When he saw me, smiled again. I'm starting to loathe it.

"You want me to call my mother, right"

It seems that he's having fun! This makes him look terrible.

"Yes, can you do me this favor…"

"Darling! JIMMY! Why didn't you invite her to come in yet?"

Gosh. She likes me. A lot.

"Hi!"

"Come in, sweetheart!" man, she really likes me! "Enjoyed the book?"

Well, now I'm asking myself how she knows about the book.

"Oh… y – yes."

"It's quite sad, I know. But is one of the classics of our literature, you know?"

Blimey, she knows a lot about…Everything.

"I'm going to lend you a book from the same author that I think you might like. Wait a second"

As soon as she went upstairs, I felt a shiver in my back. Potter

"Admired?"

Hoho, so it's going to be like this Hun, Potter? If you think I'm going to say what you think I am going to say, you are so wrong.

"Maybe"

"She likes you" he said, probably thinking that would change the way I felt about him

"I see. I like her too"

"Wanna go out with me, then?"

"I said I like **your mother**, not you, Potter."

He stared at me. Not that stupid way, the normal one. Like he's used to every time I say "no". He was going to say something (probably some crap) but his mother came, holding a book called "An elf adventure".

Hey!

I'm starting to like her. The book seems to be good, at least. Well, besides, today I met someone I've never seen at the Potter's before: Mr. Potter. He's the type of guy that makes you say: oh my god. His body makes my father look like an old man (what, I must say, he's not). He's tall (taller than Potter, if I'm not mistaking.), his skin is sort of tan, and he has blue eyes (I couldn't say if they were blue or green, the fact is that they're beautiful), and he wore the same kind of glassed that Potter. The only thing I didn't like in him was the smile. Potter and his father had the same smile. The stupid one.

"You must be the girl that the little brat talks all the time! How are you?"

"Erm… I'm fine"

Surprising. What kind of father calls his own son a brat? As far as I know, brat is the way you call a boring child. Well, maybe Potter was a boring child. I wouldn't be surprised.

"Allan was in a mission for the ministry on the Caribbean dear, that's why you don't know him."

Good, this explains everything. The tan (did I mentioned that Mr. Potter is, like, very hot?) and his absence.

Oh my god, I'm hitting on him. Lily, please stop.

"Mission?"

My mom used to say I'm too curious. I hope they don't think the same.

"I work in the auror's headquarters, in the Department of Law Enforcement ."

"So you are like… a Cop?" they looked confused

"What exactly is a cop?"

Oh yes, we've got a long way here. I explained what the police was, and then he wanted to know how they caught the bad guys without wands and brooms. The fact is, when I was done, was already dark. And, well. Let's just say that is not a good idea for a seventeen girl to walk around alone at night. And Mr. Hot said this. I was almost saying that didn't matter, I was a witch and could defend myself with my wand, if something happened, when he sentenced me:

"James, be a gentleman and take your friend home"

"Of course, daddy"

OH, everything I ever wanted was a wonderful walk to my house with the most ignorant and exhibitionist of Hogwarts. And he was smiling. I never hated him so much.

"I hate your smile"

He smiled again. Ridiculous.

"And I love yours"

"Very funny"

For the first time, Potter was serious. After some minutes only walking and staring at our footprints in the snow, he asked:

"Can I ask you something?"

"You can, but only because you asked if you could"

"You really hate me? I mean, for real?"

Before I said yes, I thought. For real? My father always said that hate was a very strong felling. I couldn't just hate him.

"No. I just don't like you"

"Why?"

"This way of yours. Egocentric, arrogant, selfish. You consider yourself better than everyone, just because you can ride a broom without falling.

For my surprise, he blushed.

"Yep, I really look like this."

"Look?"

"I would change. For you, I mean. You know, most of the times I do this stupid stuff just to see if you noticed me."

"You really should try to attract my attention doing other things"

"If I changed, would you go out with me?"

"I dunno. You didn't change yet."

He stop walking. I didn't notice, but we were already at my house. I was opening my door, when I heard:

"Lily…"

I turned, and he approached a little.

"I swear that I'll never do stupid things to call your attention"

"Ok."

"I love you"

"Love is a very complicated thing"

"One day you'll believe me."

Unconsciously, I smiled. It was a weak smile, but a smile. He smiled back and, for my surprise, it didn't bother me like before. On the opposite, made me smile more. And again, without my will, I ran to him, kissed his cheek and ran back home.

I'm going crazy.


	5. Chapter 5

**Breathing**

_Why does it always rain on me?_

I'm repeating this since that fateful kiss in the cheek I gave Potter. And that happened about a week ago.

Yes, has been a week since I last went to the mansion –house. Why? Fear, shame, I don't know. And today is Christmas' Eve, and I'm a loser, you know why?

_Potter._

He came to my house. I was super entertained helping my mother, when someone knocked the door.

"Open the door please, Lily. Maybe is some neighbor to wish merry Christmas"

Well, she was right. A little. When I opened the door I saw him, holding a bouquet of white lilies in one hand and a package on the other.

"Hi…" he started, tentatively

"Hi, what are you doing here?"

"Well, as someone say, if the cat doesn't go to you, go to the cat. And so I'm here. Merry Christmas.

Man, I swear. I was going to close the door on his face, when my mom appeared.

"Hello!"

"Hi, Mrs. Evans! Merry Christmas."

"Oh, thanks dear. New around here?"

"Actually not. I live nearby. I'm a friend of Lily's, of school.

I think my mother's most desire was that I invited a guy for Christmas at home. I disappoint her on the "date" thing. She was, if you can imagine, radiant.

"Come in!"

"Mom, he's on a hurry, right, Potter?"

"Actually…"

"See? He isn't! Come here, darling, it's cold outside!"

Quite timid, he entered. While I was taking him to the living room (my mom ran to the kitchen to pick up some cookies) he said:

"Are you avoiding me?"

"Yes."

"My mother asked me what exactly I did for you to not come back"

"What did you say?"

"I told her."

"What?"

"That I love you"

"You don't love me."

"Yes, I do. You're the only one that doesn't believe in it."

"Not at all."

"I can wait"

I don't know what I had. Suddenly I saw myself, like in a dream, with him. Marrying, having kids and all this. That time it didn't seem so stupid. But, of course, it was very cold.

Stop thinking about this

When my mother came with the cookies, she started clogging Potter of cookies. It would be funny if he got swollen like a balloon… But no. He loved the cookies, or at least he said so.

"Thank you, Mrs. Evans, they are delicious, really."

"Nonsense, darling, thanks for you! You're the first friend of Lily's school that she brings home! Or maybe… You're not only friends, hun?"

"MOM"

Oh my god, why mothers have this annoying thing? Potter gave her an unsightly smile. I hope he doesn't say were more than friends. Crap.

"Nope, Mrs. Evans, we're only friends"

**WHAT?**

Potter's actually saying we're just friends? That's really the apocalypse. And I thought that the apocalypse would be when Sirius proposed to some woman. No. My mom seamed disappointed. That's terrible! She likes him! Lilly, kill yourself.

After que was gone, my mom called me to the kitchen. Okay, let the slavery begin.

"Dear?"

"Mom."

"This boy, Potter, right?"

"Yes."

"He's from your school?"

"Yes, he's at the same house as me, Gryffindor."

"Oh yes, I see… What do you think about him?"

Oh no, this is not happening, please.

"Oh…"

"He's handsome, don't you think?"

"Hun…"

"He comes from a family like ours?"

"No. He's a pure blood."

"Seems a good guy."

"Mom!"

"I noticed the way he looks at you"

Okay, I'm going to isolate myself in a well. She keeps smiling at me. I think she's waiting me to cry and say I love him. Poor fool.

"I didn't"

"I liked him"

"Mom, I'm done here"

In my room, I threw myself on my bed. Shit! Stop thinking about him. This is ridiculous. Somehow, I felt good when I thought he came here just to give presents. I stopped to see what he gave me.

A bouquet of white lilies. And a mysterious package. When I opened, a note fell from the box, perfectly folded and _perfumed_. I smelled. It was his perfume. Idiot.

_My Lily, _What?

_Probably you're going to throw this letter away, or even burn it (if you're having a bad day). But, if you're reading this, your curiosity won, and you didn't resist._

_Lily, __Can this be true? Can this be real?__  
__I'm sorry, I'm just so afraid to feel__  
__My heart has been broken so many times__  
__It's so strange, when I see you, all I want is to hold your hand__  
__But frozen to the ground is where I stand__  
_

_By yours side I'll always be_

_If you ever need just stop crying and call me._

_Lily, I love you. If you believe me, look by the window of your room tonight, at mignight._

_Always yours._

_James._

I opened the box, and almost started crying. He's stupid. It was a necklace, made of silver. In the middle there was a pendant, shinny as the moon outside.

I looked to the clock.

_11:55 PM_

Was worth it? He was so… So stupid, ridiculous, brainless, selfish, self centered, romantic, polite, intelligent, handsome… AAH.

_11:55 PM_

Omg, I still didn't think enough! "Lily, stop being stupid." I heard my mind say.

_00:00_

Oh, screw it.

I went to the window and there he was, in his broom, holding a guitar. He smiles, but that one didn't bother me. Still smiling and staring at me, he started:

_I'm finding my way back to sanity again_

_Though I don't really know what_

_I'm gonna do when I get there_

_Take a breath and hold on tight_

_Spin around one more time_

_And gracefully fall back to the arms of grace_

_'Cause I am hanging on every word you say_

_And even if you don't want to speak tonight_

_That's alright, alright with me_

_'Cause I want nothing more than to_

_Sit outside Heaven's door and listen to you breathing_

_Is where I want to be, yeah..._

_Where I wanna be..._

_I'm looking past the shadows_

_In my mind into the truth and I'm_

_Trying to identify_

_The voices in my head_

_God, which one you_

_Let me feel one more time_

_What it feels like to feel_

_And break these calluses off of me_

_One more time_

_'Cause I am hanging on every word you say_

_And even if you don't want to speak tonight_

_That's alright, alright with me_

_'Cause I want nothing more than to sit_

_Outside your door and listen to you breathing_

_Is where I want to be, yeah..._

_I don't want a thing from you_

_Bet you're tired of me, waiting_

_For the scraps to fall_

_Off of your table to the ground_

_La Da Da La Da Da Da Da Da_

_'Cause I just want to be here now_

_Cause I am hanging on every word you're saying_

_Even if you don't wanna speak tonight, that's alright, alright with me_

_Cause I want nothing more_

_Than to sit outside Heaven's door_

_And listen to you breathing_

_It's where I wanna be, yeah..._

_(Above x 2)_

_Where I wanna be..._

_Where I wanna be..._

And I felt my eyes wet.

* * *

People! almost ending, kill me. Well, that's it. And, please, I'm almost certain that somethings are really awful. This is one of my first fanfics translated to english (by myself LOL) so, if it's terrible and needs some ediding, please tell me.

kisses ;*


	6. Chapter 6

**My boyfriend**

Yep, James Potter is my boyfriend. Almost two days passed, and he's here, resting on my lap, with his eyes closed. My mother was almost flying. I guess I never saw her so happy. Not even that junk that Petunia calls "boyfriend" made her that happy.

Maybe I am lucky after all.

"Lily…" He moaned

"Hun?"

He woke up and, crawling, came to me.

"I love you"

I smiled, he won't change.

"I love you too"

He smiled more and more. He got up and helped me to get up.

"Let's go? You said you were going to have luch at my house."

"Really. You think she's going to like me?"

"She loves you!"

"I mean… Like you girlfriend."

"She already told me that, of all of my girlfriends, you're the one she likes the most, and hopes that marries me."

"Marry?"

"Oh, my mom daydreams a little." But he looked serious.

"I like her"

"And your dad? How he reacted?" James asked me, looking worried.

"Afraid of my father?"

He gazed to the sky a little.

"Are you?"

"Yes."

I did not control myself, and started laughing.

"Thanks"

"Sorry, I couldn't control it. My father's not a monster or something like that, you know."

"For you."

"He'll like you"

"You're sure?"

"Oh, Merlin."

"What?"

"Merlin, the wizard"

"Dumb, I know who Merlin is"

"So why are you asking?"

"Merlin…"

"My mom always sais this"

"Oh gosh, I'm so ignorant in wizard famous quotes"

"I know. And, I know your turn offs, _Evans_"

"Great, lucky of yours, Potter."

"Potter?"

"Evans?"

He laughed.

"Evans?"

"Potter?"

"That's it! I loved your last name."

"Evans?"

"The set."

"Hun?"

"Silly. Evans Potter. Lily Evans Potter. Beautiful."

And smiled.

**Stupid Smile**


End file.
